It's long but I think there is a moral at the end of the story...

Finally! I'm finished. It was long painful and felt degrading but I am done with my carte de séjour classes. I despised attending these sessions. "Vivre en France" was no exception. Let me set it up for you, I walk in and get settled, make myself a cup of tea, get out the booklet we were asked to bring and mentally prepare myself for the day that it said to last from 9:30 to 5:30 pm. The instructor of the class pops up out of nowhere, puts her face 2 inches from mine and demands to know my nationality.
>>Euhh, americaine.
>>Je suis desolée Madame mais on n'a pas de traducteur anglais. (Excuse me? Who asked for a freaking translator?)
>> Il n'y a pas de problème, je n'en ai pas besoin. I wanted to strangle her!
During a long-winded review of every topic that was covered in the previous session, Madame decided to really lay into how laïque the french public schools are. And I agree that the french have really made an effort in this and have been very successful in attaining a completely secular environment in public schools. The Russian two seats away from me volunteered that the term laïque appears in the american constitution. (Madame whips her head around to look at me.)>>Vraiment, il y a le mot laïque. La-ïque dans votre constitution.
>>Il y a une phrase qui specifie qu'il faut avoir une séparation entre l'état et la religion.
>>Parce que les francais trouvent que c'est drole comment vous dites c'est laïque mais le président jure sur la bible.
>>Et oui madame, je n'ai pas dit en pratique c'est le cas. J'ai dit simplement il y a une phrase dans la constitution qui demande une séparation entre l'état et la religion.
>>Avez-vous le mot laïque dans votre constitution? Est-ce que ça existe dans votre langue? Parce que la langue devoile beaucoup de choses sur un peuple. On voit les principes qui sont importants aux gens.
>> (Grit teeth) No, le mot laïque n'est pas dans notre constitution. (There are so many things I wish I followed up that with but in frustration, I fell silent.)

Moving on, I won't go through every single thing she found wrong with the US, our expensive University system that selects people based (paraphrased from her rant) on their financial status as the most important criteria and isn't based remotely on merit, etc. Or the assumption that all of us in the session are all out of work and trying to take advantage of the french system. And we all shouldn't complain about finding work, if you speak multiple languages you can find work in retail. There are lots of Russians and Japanese that enjoy coming to France on vacation so if you have those language skills you should just work in a clothing store.

The best advice I got on how to deal with these classes came from a friend at coffee this morning.
>>Tu sais Karen quand t'es pas contente, tu fais comme les francais. Tu mets le feu. Petit feu dans la poubelle et hop, sentiments bien exprimés.>>
That made me laugh so hard. I feel much better just imagining a tiny fire with acrid smoke in the wastebasket.

Train

While I was waiting for my train at the Gare de Lyon after this last trip to Paris I took a seat at the benches. Watching as the train departure time gets closer and closer and the number of people bobbing and weaving through the crowds, sprinting to make it in time. It's like you're at the races. Monsieur with the black suitcase is in the lead, we've got hippie university student coming quickly on the left, at the turn it's.. Monsieur to take back the lead but coming from behind, it's the sweaty adolescent. SWEATY ADOLESCENT HAS TAKEN THE RACE!
The excitement, the tension, the disappointment for those that cut it a bit to close.

Also good entertainment was to be found in the people seated near me. It was a group of Americans. One mother with about 3 teenage girls. She had a slight drawl, the girls didn't sound like they had accents. The mother spoke loudly and kept things classy. Pointing out to the girls which boys she thought looked "haawt." "Oh he's yummy, I like myself a tall man. When I was in college, I dated a boy, really successful laaawyerrr. Really rich, you know, but he just wasn't tall enough, I just knew I waaasn't gonna marry hiyimm. Ooh, what do you girls think about that boy over there? " I think you get the idea. It was embarassing. I mean she didn't seem to be embarassed but I guess there's just no blending for some people. One of my favorite stories about american tourists abroad is by David Sedaris. You can listen to him read it aloud in this episode of This American Life.

I heart Paris

I am in Paris for work. It feels wonderful to be in the city. Last night, my colleague and I went to Café Marly at the Louvre. Magnificent! We ate inside and the room we were in was exquisite and the walls a rich red and gold, just outside the pyramids gently shimmering. We started out with foie gras at my request, hurrah! with a nice glass of sauternes. The rest of the meal was delicious as well. It's just great to be in the city.

Today and yesterday but hopefully not tomorrow.

I am trying so hard. I'm trying to make people understand my sarcasm and my jokes. I'm trying to be comfortable in social situations, talking with people that I don't know and ignoring that face they make, the I'm really trying to understand what you are saying because you have an accent and you clearly don't know how to speak french face. You know, it's not like I just started speaking the language yesterday. I am trying to say it's great to work from home when I know that I'm really a social person. A social person who can feel that her social skills have atrophied and are disappearing. I'm trying not to hate being here because I love someone who loves it here. I am trying to be positive but today, it's absolutely exhausting.

tasty

I am craving s'mores - the sticky, gooey mess of lightly charred marshmallow with chocolate on a crispy graham cracker. The sunshine today made me want to go camping and eat smores, lots and lots of smores. Make a campfire and afterwards go to bed fully dressed smelling like smoke and drift off to sleep snug in my sleeping bag.

Expectations

I was in Lyon to see the John Butler Trio. There are concerts that you go to where you don't know the band and are pleasantly surprised or groups that you love that disappoint live and then there are the concerts that you set your hopes high, almost too high and you wonder if you are setting yourself up to be disappointed but then you go to the concert and it surpasses what you expected. Blows it out of the water. John Butler Trio would fall into that category. Le Transbordeur was a great venue. It's large enough to accomodate everyone but not too big so that it no longer feels intimate. The music was amazing and they played old songs, new songs, and threw in a quick Bob Marley song for good measure. John did a solo, instrumental piece while the bassist and the drummer (who were both fantastic as well) took a short break. It was 20 minutes. It was beautiful. My words don't do this evening justice but here is a little clip to give you a taste. This is taken from the Taratata show, I think it airs on fridays but you can always watch the full show here. I recommend it. They get all different artists on the show and it's purely music. They do brief interviews while setting up for the next band to play.

Sitting Pretty

Went to the movies last night. Waiting in line for our tickets there was a group of teenagers behind us lining up to see the movie Hellphone. The tagline for the film: Sans abonnement. Sans forfait. Sans pitié. Almost enough to make you see it.

But we were there to see Le Dernier Roi d'Ecosse. As we settled into our seats, I was too happy to see the subtitles appear at the bottom of the screen. It has been ages since I saw something in V.O.

What a thrilling film. It was beautiful: the music, the acting, the setting. I loved Forest Whitaker. You fall under his spell. There were some violent parts, pretty graphic but served to show the violence of Amin's regime. The best estimate, from the International Commission of Jurists in Geneva, is that it was not less than 80,000 and more likely around 300,000 were killed during his 8-year reign as president. Another estimate, compiled by exile organisations with the help of Amnesty International, put the number killed at 500,000. The total population in Uganda at that time was around 12 million. Civil unrest, mass killings, tyranny. It sure makes my life feel very plush and comfortable.